My salvation comes from me

This post was written by DoctorJay on January 9, 2010
Posted Under: A Course In Miracles - workbook,forgiveness,peace

Today’s thought is self evident.  It is a matter of accepting responsibility for one’s existence and being. It is a truism under any system which has both the idea of salvation and free will.

There are some religious sects like the Calvinists who believe that salvation comes from external sources (through grace) and that only the elect will receive salvation because a cruel and vengeful god has predestined most sentient beings to suffer for eternity no matter what they think, say or do. Such a system of theology makes no sense to me…

From ACIM workbook for today:

All temptation is nothing more than some form of the basic temptation not to believe the idea for today. Salvation seems to come from anywhere except from you. So, too, does the source of guilt. You see neither guilt nor salvation as in your own mind and nowhere else. When you realize that all guilt is solely an invention of your mind, you also realize that guilt and salvation must be in the same place. In understanding this you are saved.

The seeming cost of accepting today’s idea is this: It means that nothing outside yourself can save you; nothing outside yourself can give you peace. But it also means that nothing outside yourself can hurt you, or disturb your peace or upset you in any way…

Today we practice realizing that God’s Will and ours are really the same in this…

We are ready for two longer practice periods today, each of which should last some ten to fifteen minutes. We will, however, still let you decide when to undertake them. We will follow this practice for a number of lessons, and it would again be well to decide in advance when would be a good time to lay aside for each of them, and then adhering to your own decisions as closely as possible.

Begin these practice periods by repeating the idea for today, adding a statement signifying your recognition that salvation comes from nothing outside of you. You might put it this way:

My salvation comes from me. It cannot come from anywhere else.

Then devote a few minutes, with your eyes closed, to reviewing some of the external places where you have looked for salvation in the past;–in other people, in possessions, in various situations and events, and in self-concepts that you sought to make real. Recognize that it is not there, and tell yourself:

My salvation cannot come from any of these things.
My salvation comes from me and only from me.

Now we will try again to reach the light in you, which is where your salvation is. You cannot find it in the clouds that surround the light, and it is in them you have been looking for it…

Try to pass the clouds by whatever means appeals to you. If it helps you, think of me holding your hand and leading you. And I assure you this will be no idle fantasy.

For the short and frequent practice periods today, remind yourself that your salvation comes from you, and nothing but your own thoughts can hamper your progress. You are free from all external interference. You are in charge of your salvation. You are in charge of the salvation of the world. Say, then:

My salvation comes from me. Nothing outside of me can hold  me back. Within me is the world’s salvation and my own.

First long practice:

  • At first it was difficult to accept that my sa;vation come from me. Not intellectually – most of the thoughts in ACIM I have thought for many years. Thinking thoughts logically is very easy for me. Believing them with my heart and gut is hard…
  • I remembered many mistakes, blames, resentments from early childhood until now. I felt sad and wanted to cry.
  • Then I said, “Let thy will be done and not mine.”
  • I thought of Calvinism and the elect. I thought that we do need grace. Where they got it wrong was the idea of predestination, the elect and most importantly the idea that grace and salvation come from the outside.
  • I remembered, “If it helps you, think of me holding your hand and leading you.” I searched and felt for the only begotten (our real Self – I use Self not Selves as in reality we are one and the only begotten) to hold my hand and help me through the clouds of doubt and uncertainty.
  • I remembered thirty years ago when I felt a thousand times worse than now (my only lack and worry is the lack of a job in the current financial situation) and I had been embezzled by a business partner. I found a book by Catherin Ponder which talked about the power of forgiveness.
    In it was that if you cannot forgive just repeat, “The Christ in me forgives the Christ in you,” where actually one replaces you with the name of the person to be forgiven. This made intellectual sense to me. So I kept repeating this even though at first I did not feel any difference. Slowly though the affirmation started allowing me to heal myself and give up resentments and allow in love…
    So I started repeating, “The Christ in me forgives the Christ in me.” I repeated and repeated and the light became brighter…
  • Next I started to forgive myself and accept myself even though I would not forgive my past mistakes. This turned possible vicious cycle to virtuous cycles of unconditional acceptance.
  • I searched my mind for self loathing, self resentment and lack of forgiveness for myself and forgave myself for that.
  • I started to use a virtual EFT (emotional freedom technique) which is based on imagining that you tap various meridians (energy channels used in acupuncture). The most important aspect for me was the first release acceptance phase where I used affirmations like, “even though I do not love myself and refuse to forgive myself, I totally love and accept myself.”
  • I noticed that the more different things I was doing to accept my lack of acceptance, to love my lack of self love and to forgive the lack of forgiveness the more the clouds dissipated and allowed that internal God-Light out…

The first long practice session lasted about twenty minutes. It was very useful. I feel much better. I felt at peace with myself. I think a concept I need to work on and use as affirmation is:

I cannot fully forgive anyone else until I fully forgive myself.
I cannot fully love anyone else until I fully love myself.
I cannot fully have compassion for anyone else until I fully have compassion for myself.

Second long practice period:

  • I relaxed and just went into myself and most of the external world disappeared.
  • For the next ten minutes not much happened.
  • My salvation comes from Love.
  • I was thinking about the i and I – the ego and the Spirit.
  • The real Self and the false Self.
  • God and idols.
  • Happiness and peace vs. false excitement and lust…

I suppose the question is who am I?

Am I this week false self which is lost and fears everything?
Am I this ego in a skin (as Alan Watts put it)?
Or am I the eternal unity, the one I have glimpsed on rare occasions?

You see salvation comes from from me – no doubt about that – the question is which me is the source of the salvation…

and as I wrote, I keep wondering who am I?

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