I do not perceive my own best interests

This post was written by DoctorJay on November 25, 2009
Posted Under: A Course In Miracles - workbook

How true – unless you are totally happy you cannot have perceived your own best interests. Today’s exercise requires self honesty and a bit more work.

I’ll quote from the workbook:

Practice periods begin with repeating today’s idea, followed by searching the mind, with closed eyes, for unresolved situations about which you are currently concerned. The emphasis should be on uncovering the outcome you want. You will quickly realize that you have a number of goals in mind as part of the desired outcome; and also that these goals are on different levels, and often conflict.

Name each situation that occurs to you, and enumerate carefully as many goals as possible that you would like to be met in its resolution. The form of each application should be roughly as follows:

“In the situation involving _____,
I would like _____ to happen, and _____ to happen,”

and so on. Try to cover as many different kinds of outcome as may honestly occur to you, even if some of them do not appear to you to be directly related to the situation, or even to be inherent in it at all.

If these exercises are done properly, you will quickly recognize that you are making a large number of demands of the situation which have nothing to do with it. You will also recognize that many of your goals are contradictory, that you have no unified outcome in mind, and that you must experience disappointment in connection with some of your goals however the situation turns out.

5:45 a.m. – I did the first exercise period of the day. I noticed that deep down my mind was all about on the on hand so and on the other hand thus. When we uncover such internal conflicts in NLP (neuroliniguistic programming) we do parts therapy to reconcile the different parts. Of course with the parts therapy we bring together two parts at a time but as I did the exercise I noticed multiple conflicting motivations.

10:45 – second exercise of the day: If only there were two sides of the coin. The real coin lives in eleven dimensional mirrored universe – but then each universe is an infinitesimal part of an infinite multiverse. By the way the infinity in this case is aleph-aleph for those who know number theory. Actually it would aleph-aleph to the power of aleph-aleph. That’s to to say we are a tiny spec of nothing in the overall scheme of things.

Today’s idea reminds me of the time I took LSD more than forty years ago (when it was still legal and under supervision for a scientific experiment). I became aware of a billion different thoughts going on in my head. The image I saw was a huge funnel. At one end went all the different thoughts. They were filtered and disappeared as they went up the funnel from what would normally be unconscious until a single thought came into consciousness and we imagine that this single thought is what we really think not realizing that we have deleted millions of other thoughts.

Many years later when I was studying NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) I discovered that deletion with distortion and generalization are the main method that we filter the reality into small enough chunks for our consciousness to deal with.

Later on today after writing the above I was reading a book on consciousness and it was talking about self reference and multiple loops causing consciousness. After, I read more I can write about it but superficially it related to the thought of today.

***

Did the last exercise for the day. This time I was aware of many doubts in my mind. As the book says:

Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.

Herein lies the peace of God.

Also: The opposite of love is fear, but what is all-encompassing can have no opposite.

And yet…

The fear persists and feels ever so real – even though I know that it is only an illusion.

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