I could see peace instead of this

This post was written by DoctorJay on December 4, 2009
Posted Under: A Course In Miracles - workbook,peace

Day thirty four from the workbook:

Three longer practice periods are required for today’s exercises. One in the morning and one in the evening are advised, with an additional one to be undertaken at any time in between that seems most conducive to readiness. All applications should be done with your eyes closed. It is your inner world to which the applications of today’s idea should be made.

Some five minutes of mind searching are required for each of the longer practice periods. Search your mind for fear thoughts, anxiety-provoking situations, “offending” personalities or events, or anything else about which you are harboring unloving thoughts. Note them all casually, repeating the idea for today slowly as you watch them arise in your mind, and let each one go, to be replaced by the next.

I do the morning exercise and not much comes up – I suppose I’m too peaceful. I know I’m supposed to search my mind for fear thoughts and I assume I have plenty of negative thoughts – just not today. Somehow I feel very peaceful today as though nothing can disturb me and that’s good.

It’s about 7:00 a.m. – already the two computers out of four that I’m using a lot just now have rebooted (one by itself without warning – I wish Windows would not do that – I could see peace instead of this) – wow this is fantastic as soon as I thought that I felt peace instead of being a tad annoyed at the computers keep rebooting and interrupting my work.

I think I better say something here about my relationship with computers:

  1. The first computer I saw was in 1965 when I was attending a boarding school in Worcester, England. The science society arranged a trip for us six formers (I think it’s called seniors here – somehow I never understood the American eduction system terminology of sophomores, seniors, and so on even though I have now spent more than thirty years in the USA). We went to RRE (Royal Radar Establishment) Malvern which is a city near Worcester. The computer took a whole room and lots of lights, tape drives, line printers and so on. It was totally marvelous. At the end they got the computer play Jingle bells out of it’s speakers.
  2. My next experience was at the university. I read (majored in American English) Chemistry so I did not take any programming classes, but my friends in the physics and maths departments did and I would visit the computer room at times. Actually there was a cubby whole and you handed your punched cards in one day and got a print out (typically full of errors) next day. The programs were written in FORTRAN.
  3. Later I was doing research in brain sciences and actually started using a computer on a teletext terminal. I did not program it but we used the computer for statistics.
  4. Later in 1974 I worked for NCR Iran as a computer programmer. The mini-computer was the size of a desk and had eight K of core memory (my new laptop has 500,000 times more ram). I loved the computer and wrote some mathematical and statistical programs on it in my spare time. At the time I would have given anything to own a computer like that. It took half an hour for each pass which a current laptop would do in milliseconds.
  5. I bought my first computer for a small business I was a partner of in 1978 when I arrived in the USA.
  6. I became a professional software engineer in 1981 and a senior one next year. I consulted between 1985 to 2005 and then my job got outsourced to overseas.

The point I’m saying is that I have seen computers improve over the years and I have had a love hate relationship with them for a long time. It’s been mostly love but at times frustrating. So objectively computers crashing and things like that are pr for the course and I can easily see peace instead of bother.

It’s now 11:15 a.m. and it’s been a most wonderful day. Any time I begin to have even the slightest disturbing thought I read my little card on which is written: I could see peace instead of this and I feel peaceful.
Only minor hassles so far (it’s two p.m.) and I’m peaceful…

Actually given today’s thought of the day I have not noticed much which could disturb my peace. As soon as the least would happen (at exactly this time the Firefox browser crashed – must be because I’m writing this on a Windows 7) anyway I I could see peace instead of getting bothered because I lost a little time.

The reality is that no matter what, the time would have been lost. The browser did crash and it would take a little time for it to come back up. The only choice I had was whether I saw peace or I disturbed myself.

Now it is time to do the evening exercise:

  • I close my eyes and nothing comes, That’s good in reality. Peace is good.
  • I look to a side and see the CND (campaign for nuclear disarmament) sign which is called the Peace sign in the USA. Yes today is a peaceful day.
  • I close my eyes again and I hear the sound of the clock ticking normally with my eyes open I’m not aware of this sound or the sound of the various computer fans.
  • I close my eyes one more time and I understand what’s going on. At the depths of my mind there may be lots of negative thoughts, anxieties and worries but as the thoughts approach my consciousness the thought for the day removes them. I visualized the whole thing as an  ocean whose depths may be full of angry currents but the surface is calm and peaceful. I’ll lovingly take that.

Peace…

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