Love holds no grievances

This post was written by DoctorJay on January 7, 2010
Posted Under: A Course In Miracles - workbook,forgiveness

Today’s long practice may be difficult. I do so much forgiving that I think I have no or very little grievances. It is not that I’m never disturbed. When I do get disturbed and have less than loving thoughts I immediately do some forgiving work and send blessing toward the person I imagine has hurt me. So the only lack of love I have are for political reasons, but even then I do my best to send blessings and not get angry at what I look at as human beings stupidity and cruelty…

From day fifty eight of ACIM workbook:

You who were created by love like itself can hold no grievances and know your Self. To hold a grievance is to forget who you are…

Begin today’s extended practice period by searching your mind for those against whom you hold what you regard as major grievances. Some of these will be quite easy to find. Then think of the seemingly minor grievances you hold against those you like and even think you love.  It will quickly become apparent that there is no one against whom you do not cherish grievances of some sort. This has left you alone in all the universe in your perception of yourself.

Determine now to see all these people as friends.  Say to them all, thinking of each one in turn as you do so:

I would see you as my friend, that I may remember you
are part of me and come to know myself.

Spend the remainder of the practice period trying to think of yourself as completely at peace with everyone and everything, safe in a world that protects you and loves you, and that you love in return. Try to feel safety surrounding you, hovering over you and holding you up. Try to believe, however briefly, that nothing can harm you in any way. At the end of the practice period tell yourself:

Love holds no grievances. When I let all my grievances
go I will know I am perfectly safe.

The short practice periods should include a quick application of today’s idea in this form, whenever any thought of grievance arises against anyone, physically present or not:

Love holds no grievances. Let me not betray my Self.

In addition, repeat the idea several times an hour in this form:

Love holds no grievances. I would wake to my Self by
laying all my grievances aside and wakening in Him.

First long practice results:

I started by thinking about people I had not forgiven.  I remembered that my father had lost a leg in a civil war a month before I was born. I started forgiving and applying the thought for today towards those who had hurt my loved ones.

Later on when I was quite young my father would be interned (jailed without reason) whenever the dictatorial regime got concerned for its safety. I dropped  any grievances I had to my father’s jailers and forgave them. By the time I was nine my father was relatively rich and famous and part of the establishment so the jailing stopped but still we lived under fear from the dictatorship.

In a similar vain I forgave people who had hurt my mother and siblings.

Then came the hardest to forgive myself for all the times I have failed myself. I just felt so bad and not necessarily unforgiving but full of regrets that I stopped the first long exercise of the day and opened my eyes. Ten minutes had passed. I need to work on this some more.

Love created ne in own image and love holds no grievances especially for love…

Later I had a great meditation and did manage to give up some grievances against myself.

It is still so much harder to feel compassion towards myself than others. Perhaps it is time to reconsider the golden rule as said by Jesus, “Love others as you love yourself.” This implies that we should love ourselves.

The Buddhist command to have compassion for all sentient beings again includes yourself.

Reminds me of the idea that we carry our karma with us. Of course God does not judge us – so what is karma?

We carry our own karma with ourselves and we are the only one’s who judge ourselves.

Unfortunately it is easy to understand things intellectually but difficult to fully get anything. I mean to get these truth with your guts and your heart.

And I suppose that’s where A Course in Miracles workbook and other practices come into their own…

I’m surprised how much self loathing and lack of self forgiveness I have. But the first step is to forgive myself for not being able to forgive myself. We get into some paradoxes caused by self reference but that is the way such things are…

Accepting things as they are is the start of healing, start of change…

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