God’s Will for me is perfect happiness

This post was written by DoctorJay on February 9, 2010
Posted Under: A Course In Miracles - workbook,Zen

We continue where we left off yesterday. Again the real question is, “What is perfect happiness?”

Is it a life of no ups and downs? Such a life would not teach us anything and be boring. I think perfect happiness is accepting whatever happens as the will of God. Many great people (from a spiritual point of view – saints, masters) have objectively miserable lives and die painful deaths and yet others who are not enlightened may live careless happy lives. So what is this perfect happiness?

Let’s see what A Course in Miracles workbooks says for today:

Today we will continue with the theme of happiness. This is a key idea in understanding what salvation means. You still believe it asks for suffering as penance for your “sins.” This is not so. Yet you must think it so while you believe that sin is real, and that God’s Son can sin.

If sin is real, then punishment is just and cannot be escaped…

I wish to make a comment here. First of all the word used in the original Greek of New Testament which is translated as sin was an archery term meaning missing the mark. So missing the mark is real and part and parcel of the learning process. Then also it could be that sin is absolutely real (in the way most people mean it), and evil exists (I do not believe this) and God totally forgives.

So the above statement is not logically sound and judges God. There are many parts of ACIM I do not understand. Others are too dogmatic and yet other parts like the above make no logical sense. I’m following the workbook as well as I can as I promised myself that I would do the three hundred and sixty five daily exercises in a year. However, I have not given up my mind.

In order to understand what is God’s plan for us (human beings) we need to examine ourselves and between ourselves and other animals. We have the the largest brain to weight ratio and are the only animal with a complex written language. We have logic, mathematics, science, written poetry, arts and so on. I imagine that dolphins may have something akin to oral poetry and higher primates have a complex language relative to that of cats and dogs but no other animal can paint a Picasso or compose a Beethoven symphony.

No other animal could have a Gandhi or a Hitler. Both are part of God’s plan for salvation as far as I can see.

All I can do is to accept and know that deep down I’m made of joy, compassion, unconditional love. That to me is perfect happiness.

Continuing with ACIM workbook:

If sin is real, salvation must be pain. Pain is the cost of sin, and suffering can never be escaped, if sin is real. Salvation must be feared, for it will kill, but slowly, taking everything away before it grants the welcome boon of death to victims who are little more than bones before salvation is appeased. Its wrath is boundless, merciless, but wholly just.

Again this is not a God I would accept. Merciless? That is not God but a vengeful powerful being. Any the buck has to stop somewhere and that is with the creator. If sin (evil not mistakes so we can learn) is real, it is part of God’s plan and God’s justice is absolute forgiveness.

In Euphetro (one of Plato’s dialogues) Socrates asks the question: Is an action good because the gods love that action or do the gods love an action because it is good?

I wish to pose the question slightly differently: Is a creature worthy of our love, respect and worship because he/she created us, or are love, respect, worship to be given to the good, loving, compassionate?

You need the practice periods today. The exercises teach sin is not real, and all that you believe must come from sin will never happen, for it has no cause. Accept Atonement with an open mind, which cherishes no lingering belief that you have made a devil of God’s Son. There is no sin. We practice with this thought as often as we can today, because it is the basis for today’s idea.

God’s Will for you is perfect happiness because there is no sin, and suffering is causeless. Joy is just, and pain is but the sign you have misunderstood yourself. Fear not the Will of God. But turn to it in confidence that it will set you free from all the consequences sin has wrought in feverish imagination. Say:

God’s Will for me is perfect happiness.
There is no sin; it has no consequence.

So should you start your practice periods, and then attempt again to find the joy these thoughts will introduce into your mind.

Give these five minutes gladly, to remove the heavy load you lay upon yourself with the insane belief that sin is real. Today escape from madness. You are set on freedom’s road, and now today’s idea brings wings to speed you on, and hope to go still faster to the waiting goal of peace. There is no sin. Remember this today, and tell yourself as often as you can:

God’s Will for me is perfect happiness.
This is the truth, because there is no sin.

After writing and studying the above I ended up feeling very sad and totally hopeless. Once more I felt exceptionally suicidal. If what A Course in Miracle says is literally true and time does not exist and everything is only an illusion then why not just end it all and rejoin the perfect happiness of unity with the One.

Just get rid of the body and end of all illusions. End of feeling useless after more than twenty two years of education. End of being too old in this brave new globalized world of ours. The problem is not with the globalization but with the fact that the cake is being distributed less and less equally each day.

And unfortunately ageism is rampant in this country.

And unfortunately we live in a country where the only value is wealth

So that’s perfect happiness at times. Feel the despair. Desire to kill yourself and yet continue. To be or not to be is not a real choice. I remember reading the introduction to “The myth of Sisyphus,” by Albert Camus. Sisyphus did something against the gods and so is doomed to push a huge bolder up the hill and just he’s about to reach his goal the gods continue the punishment by making the bolder roll down to the bottom of the hill. He has to go down again and continue this struggle for ever.

Camus asks if Sisyphus is happy and answers in the affirmative, saying that he is happy as he goes down the hill to start the chore again. I suppose the myth is true of humanity since the dawn of civilization and the made desire for more.

It is interesting as I write this I no longer despair. The despair is not a natural human condition but a part of being an American living in 2010 when your only raison d’etre is to consume…

***

Later I went to the gym and I felt better. I suppose when I’m in front of others I need show a happy face (to make others happy as A Course in Miracles suggests). Anyway, I was thinking about happiness and despair. I remembered Jesus saying, “Father, father why have you forsaken me.”

Sure ultimately it is all an illusion but we do despair. We feel pain. We can have a dark night of the soul.

So my point for today is that despair and even wishing that you would be dead may be part of God’s plan and part of happiness.

***

I was reading “God’s Will for you is perfect happiness because there is no sin, and suffering is causeless.”
I agree there is no sin (if sin means evil and something to be punished for) and suffering is causeless (actually I think human greed is one of the major causes of unneeded suffering). But this does not make the suffering disappear. Even agreeing with the Buddha that life is suffering and accepting the suffering does not make it disappear.
I suppose if we give up desires there will be no suffering, but I’m not there…

So, I suffer and today is a pretty bad day. I feel that my life is meaningless and I’m not worth anything.
I suppose there is something good and positive in that.
Low self esteem and feeling helpless and hopeless is good for teaching one humility. Especially if you were someone like me (full of myself – with my extreme high IQ, learning, privilege and other worthless crap).
And now I’m nobody…

***

It is interesting that the more I do the five minute exercises the worse I feel.
I say, “God’s Will for me is perfect happiness,” and yet I’m not happy. I’m depressed and despairing.
I despair not because I feel I have sinned or feel anger toward anyone.
I feel total compassion and unconditional love toward all.
Such things are not my problem. It is the lack of a decent job.
It is lack of dignity and worthless crap like that – get the pun – dignity means having value that is to say being worthy and that’s the whole point.
I know the things that bother me are stupid and not worth being bothered by but I do despair.

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